Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
