Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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