My Higher Power is John Stamos
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
