a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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