I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
