forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize