i barfeds in our rink
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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