Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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