I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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