Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize