I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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