So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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