i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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