similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize