I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I'm both gender and math confused
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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