I got chris browned last night
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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