Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
