? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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