Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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