it wasn't lemon gatorade
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
home. puking in laundry basket.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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