and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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