Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
