She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
