I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
