i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
