Is it normal to miss your booty call?
someone threw a dead crab at me
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Randomize
