Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Randomize
