Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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