I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
