Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
