Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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