Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize