I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
