Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
