you guys were way drunker than both of me
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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