I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
