I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize