Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
