hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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