Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(416): View more from Ontario

I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey

Fav 14 1593 886
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.

Fav 19 5467 1637
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.

Fav 5 3399 946
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.

Fav 28 4453 1041
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(207): View more from Maine

Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.

Fav 7 3242 1070
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(518): View more from New York

Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.

Fav 10 969 1631
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(707): View more from California

do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me

Fav 15 2146 852
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(702): View more from Nevada

I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.

(920): View more from Wisconsin

How does that even work?

Fav 5 801 562
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(760): View more from California

Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux

Fav 1 54 7
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