You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
