im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
