butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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