Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
