why didn't you poke me back
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
