I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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