Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
