Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
