I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
