I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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