Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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