Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
