Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
