I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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