I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize