how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize