he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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