Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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