There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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