Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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