WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
