covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
