I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
