I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Randomize
